HOLY BEEJEEZERS!!! So Samantha and I went on a wonderful nights stroll through rancho highlands where I have my fondest memories of growing up! Seemed like everyone lived there. Ali Dooda Tianna- my best friends back then. And a ton of other people I didn't really know but at the time I thought I did.... Loser I know... Anyways, it made Sammie and me feel so old. It also brought to my attention that I can't remember as much as I wish I did. I took advantage of those days. The days when no one made fun of me for the hot Cheetos and dr pepper only my "four eyes" the days when I had no job and only had the bank of mom and grandpa. Why didn't I make the most of those days? Don't get me wrong I had fun but, I wish I cherished it more. It totally made me realize even though it'll happen anyway, I don't want to grow up! I want to eat top ramen while I watch the Rugrats for hours. Then we met up with Ali on our walk and she was babysitting... So weird kids are... I know people who are married at my age and/or have kids at my age and it is wild to me. I'm being so selfish right now. Even in my relationship with Jerry<-- who is amazing, I'm selfish. idk its scaring that marriage and children is around the corner. seriously life just gets faster and faster before I know it I'll be at my 10 year reunion. I'm scared in a way to become and adult...
BUT!!!! then I think of all my memories with Jerry which I'm trying to cherish them so I never forget! lol. I got lucky to find the most amazing guy so young and there's no one else in the world that will/ could ever make me feel the way he does! Being with him makes me excited to get married and have kids.(I'm far from this though and so is he) but, I know he's numero uno! Which is crazy given what I stated above. Idk its so weird I love him to death and can't wait to start my life with him. I wish I could be with him and still be a kid. However, it will be a goal for me to make sure we don't get too old too fast. I want to have times when we are kids. I fell in love with a goofball so it's definitely in the stars to have that kind of relationship. I feel like in life lately, I'm too serious. Its good to be serious but, when is it too much? I need to figure out that line. cuz life isn't fun right now. I LOVE school but I feel like all I do is school and work. I wanna have fun with my friends (no I don't want to become a party girl and get trashed every weekend) but just build memories with fun people. Why waste your one life? anyways, I got sidetracked. hahaha.
Well I guess that's all I need to post for today... interesting walk I must say. It made me really re evaluate how I'm living my life. I will become more carefree less controlling and more positive. I can't wait!
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