butt hurt

so I'm kind of disappointed... Since first grade I've known my Samantha. and her familia. and I love them to pieces. but lately, her mother is so consumed in her sisters boyfriend that she's lost sight of reality. she's already planning in her head her daughters wedding... and nothing Samantha does is right. b/c her bf isn't jimmy means that she's satanic or w/e but now it's affecting my relationship with Sam's mom. here's why. since 1st grade I've been part of the family. If I was over at their house I went wherever they did. they told me I was part of the family. but today, I heard her ask Samantha to tell me to go home at 5 cuz their having a family dinner at chili's. I guess I'm not family anymore and Jimmy who's been around for like 6 months is... Its not that I wanted a free dinner it's that they made me feel like I'm not family any longer... Idk why I am so upset about it but it really hurt my feelings... and Samantha was totally irritated cuz we're tired of Jimmy and Jac getting their way and Samantha has become the red headed step child that does everything wrong. I'm tired of it. Samantha is a good person and her relationships are her business and just because she's not dating Jimmy doesn't make her a bad person. and her friends shouldn't be treated any less that Jimmy does. especially since, I've been around this family for years! ugh I just needed to vent. I'm butt hurt

Went For A Walk Today....

HOLY BEEJEEZERS!!! So Samantha and I went on a wonderful nights stroll through rancho highlands where I have my fondest memories of growing up! Seemed like everyone lived there. Ali Dooda Tianna- my best friends back then. And a ton of other people I didn't really know but at the time I thought I did.... Loser I know... Anyways, it made Sammie and me feel so old. It also brought to my attention that I can't remember as much as I wish I did. I took advantage of those days. The days when no one made fun of me for the hot Cheetos and dr pepper only my "four eyes" the days when I had no job and only had the bank of mom and grandpa. Why didn't I make the most of those days? Don't get me wrong I had fun but, I wish I cherished it more. It totally made me realize even though it'll happen anyway, I don't want to grow up! I want to eat top ramen while I watch the Rugrats for hours. Then we met up with Ali on our walk and she was babysitting... So weird kids are... I know people who are married at my age and/or have kids at my age and it is wild to me. I'm being so selfish right now. Even in my relationship with Jerry<-- who is amazing, I'm selfish. idk its scaring that marriage and children is around the corner. seriously life just gets faster and faster before I know it I'll be at my 10 year reunion. I'm scared in a way to become and adult...

BUT!!!! then I think of all my memories with Jerry which I'm trying to cherish them so I never forget! lol. I got lucky to find the most amazing guy so young and there's no one else in the world that will/ could ever make me feel the way he does! Being with him makes me excited to get married and have kids.(I'm far from this though and so is he) but, I know he's numero uno! Which is crazy given what I stated above. Idk its so weird I love him to death and can't wait to start my life with him. I wish I could be with him and still be a kid. However, it will be a goal for me to make sure we don't get too old too fast. I want to have times when we are kids. I fell in love with a goofball so it's definitely in the stars to have that kind of relationship. I feel like in life lately, I'm too serious. Its good to be serious but, when is it too much? I need to figure out that line. cuz life isn't fun right now. I LOVE school but I feel like all I do is school and work. I wanna have fun with my friends (no I don't want to become a party girl and get trashed every weekend) but just build memories with fun people. Why waste your one life? anyways, I got sidetracked. hahaha.

Well I guess that's all I need to post for today... interesting walk I must say. It made me really re evaluate how I'm living my life. I will become more carefree less controlling and more positive. I can't wait!

hmmmm....

Maybe I should remember to use this more? its kind of a waste if I dont...

anyways, lifes good.
Jerry got stationed in Whidby Island, Washington... :[ at least he's west coast. I'm going to go see him sooon. I hope, when's the next 3day weekend? anyways Cosmetology school is fabulous to say the least. I'm loving take home in the day soooo different from night. I feel important and needed so its good. I'm learning a lot too so if you need your color or hair cut hit me up. no pedicures please lol. hmmm thats about it. what a lame little blog oh well.
peace

Update

So how's my life? hmm
well basically I start working on the floor at school in 2 weeks. needless to say im stoked but I'm also scared shitless. I keep thinking what if I fuck up someones hair? what if I break down? what if I'm not good? so many questions. But I need to just buck up! I'll always have learning leaders around me to help me through it so I'm not going to stress anymore! HAHA!

Outside of that I've been in a funk. I've just not been happy. Nothing was making me happy. I hated work and I was unmotivated to go to school and I hardly saw my man n my friends. All I wanted to do was sleep. However, I decided I'm not going to be in a funk anymore. I love my life so why am I funking? its dumb so I'm a stop it

Outside of that (I say that a lot)My man aka Jerry was having a bad day. His house was super hot, his friends bailed, and his brother was lieing on his bed for no reason other than to lie there. So being that he was so grumpy and taking it out on me I decided why not take him cruisin? Whenever we go cruisin we have a damn good time! we rap we opera we just have the best time. And as always it was a success he was in a great mood after and I realized how happy I am with him and how in love I still am. seriously the fire ain't goin' nowhere with this guy. He makes me feel better than anyone.

So therefore, that concludes my update and I'm a happy UN- funky school promoting gangsta hahahahah.

woot wooot

so basically, on friday at Cosmetology school we took a test and I totally Aced it!! OMG!!! only one girl has to retake it but the rest of us passed. we also shampoo'd each other and my friend said I gave a great scalp massage but I squirted water on her. hahaha I felt so bad but oh well we thought it was funny. lets see what else

oh yes, last night when I went to Jerry's house after school and his brother Dave bought NACHHOOOOOOOOOOOO Libre. of course I fell asleep bc I'm exhausted from school. but the part I watched while I was awake was fabulous.

what else, oh at work ya that was fabulously boring! i honestly didnt know much slower that day could have possibly gone. there were so many of us sitting around that everything to clean was already done. mmmm but i had chicken with rice soup. sooo good! my aunt keeps it stoked in her cubby for me. lol. well thats about it.

Payce

Blahhhhh

so today wasn't the best of days... I'm exhausted from school and work and on top of it my bf is left in bed vegetating because he pulled cartilage from his ribs. I wish there was something I could do to help him but I just cant. lets see what else...
oh yes Beauty school has been tons o' fun lately. here's some pics this is my fishtail! I was quite impressed with myself! and heres my fingerwave . pretty good according to my co workers!
today we did shampoo sets, I did ok. nothing too fabulous! However, I named my doll head Barbara, because its honestly a dead name for the 2000 generation and I would never name my daughter that so henceforth the doll head is Barbara!! she likes it.

and what else??? oh yes work is great! my mom went to l.a. and bought a bunch of cute stuff that I cant wear considering at school I can only wear black... yay...

oh yes and my dog shit in my room today which pissed me off. she was very embarrassed afterward though because I put her face up to it and yelled at her. she seriously didn't come near me for a 20 minutes. bad puppy but she's cute.

alright well I'm out

Recent Update

So hows my life going so far?
uhmm fabulously!!! I started Cosmetology school recently and so far I absolutely love it!! I know how to french braid angel braid fish tail and corn row. so im pretty stoked!. Jerry has officially been sworn into the navy and leaves june 20 something. im excited for him! things are really going good. i moved back in with my gpa bc my moms losing the redhawk house. times are tough =[ oh well life goes on! anyways, my puppy is back home. thee cutest little chihuahua i've ever seen minus the other 2 i had. there all cute. but shes a sweetheart. and lets see my gpa is losing it big time. its depressing really! i don't know how he's still driving. it makes me nervous!. and what else? oh yes my aunt n uncle from my dads side came to visit... we went to oscars! love that place! and i miss them! it was nice dinner! uhh thats aboout it for now. lame huh? hahaha i just have a good life and i dont detail things so i guess this is what you get. haha payce!